Gig-Talkers

I genuinely despise those fuckers. Our first Green Man was 2012 and I was astonished just how quiet people were during the bands. Despite the terrible weather and mud that year I knew then that this was the festival for me.

But over the last couple of years it's getting as bad as other festivals, the crowd has changed/expanded and more and more people seem to be there for a weekend on the piss than to watch bands. V Festival was always GM weekend so now that's no more I wonder if some people come to Green Man instead. Or the increased popularity of 6 Music has turned people towards Glanusk in August.

I know this all sounds very music snobbish but it's just another reason why I'm unlikely to return. I hate camping, I hate rain and if I can't even listen to my favourite bands in peace then I'll spend the £250 on something else.

It was particularly bad for The Beths. They pulled a huge crowd but most of them seemed to be sheltering from the rain and couldn't care less about the band. I had to move twice during These New Puritans on Thursday too. Sharon Van Etten seemed to be full of talkers no matter where you stood. During Stealing Sheep a couple stood in front of us about three songs in and started chatting about the food they'd just bought!

Thankfully Gwenno, Self Esteem and Yo La Tengo were pretty much free of talking wankers and, as three of my must sees, they were all great. 

Don’t get me started.

During the end of the Eels‘s sublime set I had the misfortune of standing near three people who were shouting their inane conversation during the two quietest and gentlest songs of the set. 

While Mrs KlingKlang was genuinely reduced to tears (by I think the Brian Wilson cover) I was spitting blood at the shrill harpies and fuckwits behind me  

What the actual fuck?! 

Didn‘t notice it too much this year. Apart from one instance which was stopped in its tracks by ardent RT fans. I was about 3 back from the front of the stage because I wanted to see his unbelievable playing close up and was suddenly aware of two young ladies, pushing, albeit gently, to get nearer to the front. You see this all the time, but when they got to their spot they proceeded to talk and within 30 seconds one of them was politely tapped on the shoulder and told to “shhhhh” it did the trick! Well done to the bloke who was having none of it. It let the rest of us get on with witnessing the most astonishing performance by Richard Thompson I think I can ever remember seeing, not only at Green Man, but anywhere else.

What is wrong with you? Said I to a fucker who was talking to his mate and checking his phone during RT's exquisite rendition of Who Knows Where the Time Goes. 

He seemed genuinely taken aback when I told him to shut up but didn't stop talking... I had to move away.

It's a growing problem and like rob says a symptom of skim syndrome and the fact that music is free to consume.

As the mother of teens the idea of sitting down to listen to an entire album by one artist to them is an alien concept. This, for some of the Spotify generation, probably extends to an artist's live set of an hour's duration.

It really is frustrating. I wish they would stand at the back instead of yakking with their back to the stage, directly in front of the band.

Mr Mc was deemed to be a "grumpy old man" by a couple of cunts at the front of Bill Ryder Jones when he asked them to be quiet. 

Never felt more proud of him!

Christ, if I'd heard anyone talking during RT's set I don't know what I might have done. I was rather emotional (not a euphemism).

Increasingly more millennials attending I guess, which is proportionally decreasing the preponderance of us more mature folk, who are less susceptible to this skim culture. Perhaps they just need a bit of nurturing, but personally I prefer the more direct approach of telling them to shut the fuck up. 

Haha! I don't feel very young at the moment. 

There were a couple of women behind me at James Yorkston who were talking incessantly, dancing, giggling and whooping... okay when he did the Erasure cover but incongruous during his more pensive tracks like 'Broken Wave'.

Not the talking though.

That's always unacceptable. 

I once went to an Alasdair Roberts gig on a boat in Belfast. A barge, so the room was long and thin, and set out with tables. A young couple on the table right in front of him engaged in gig talk. Alasdair himself seemed unclear who, precisely, was talking, the lights seemed quite bright and in his eyes. His response was to mention it and then do something acappella, without amplification but still very loud. Of course, it was effectively aimed at people not 6 feet from him and sans the anonymity of the crowd, at least as far as the rest of the audience were concerned. I think the slinked out shortly after.   

Lollipops!

perhaps that is the solution.  Rail stations and after dark venues will give out lollipops and sweets to calm down what could turn into hostile crowds.  If green man put the price up slightly, bought loads of lollipops and gob stoppers giving them out freely before performances.  Then the millennials, yummy mummy’s, skimmers, boloxies, fuckers and cunts might become too absorbed in sucking rather than talking.  Just a thought.